We found the penis quiz discussed in the August 1988 Teen Issues episode! Here it is! From Harvard Lampoon, April 1997. 1. Would you rather be: 6'3" with a 3" penis 5'4" with a 7" penis Hint 2. Would you rather be: 6'3" with a 3" penis 6'3" with two 2" penises Hint 3. Would you rather be: 3 feet tall with a two foot penis on your head. Fifty feet tall with one hundred 1-inch penises. Hint 4. Vlakto has five dollars, and Enrique has four dollars. Would you rather have: Five penises of equal length Five penises of comically different lengths Hint 5. Would you rather be: Seven feet tall with superpowers and a large, healthy and happy penis a Penis™ 6. Would your: 3-inch penis rather have a 6'3" you 7-inch penis rather have a 5'4" you 7. Would you rather: Have a penis on your head that could read other people’s minds and also you could teleport Be 5'8" with a five inch penis Hint 8. Would you rather be: A 3-inch penis with a 7-inch penis A 5'4" human with a 6'3" human 9. Would you rather have: A penis that is one penis long A penis that is one and one half penises long Hint 10. ... B: “Would you like my penis?” A: “No thanks.” B: “That’s cool.” A: (teleports) A’S PENIS: “Don’t make any sudden moves, cowboy.” B: “I don’t want no trouble.” A’S PENIS: “No one wants any trouble son. Just move along.” A: (teleports back) “Hey. ANything bad happen?” A’S PENIS: “No sir. All sectors clear.” A: “Good penis. Back on my head with you.” 11. Would you rather have: A regular old penis A really special awesome penis 12. Which of the statements is grammatically correct? “My Sally, what a penis dress you have on to-penis,” Brett penised I went to the store to buy some milk and bread, but penis. “Penis!” penised Penis. Penis penis penis penis Epps penis Epps’ penis. 13. You go to a party. This guy is talking **** about guys with penises. Do you: Say you don’t have one so you can be in his stupid club Stand up like a man and admit you have a penis Hint 14. Would you rather be: 5'7" with a 6-inch penis and weigh 170 lbs with an IQ of 110 5'9" with a 6-inch penis and weight 160 lbs with an IQ of 115 5'11" with a 6-inch penis and weigh 165 lbs with an IQ 107 5'10" with a 6-inch penis and weigh 163 lbs with an IQ 104 0'2" with a 77-inch penis and weigh 1 lb with an IQ of zero and you are a squirrel 5'9" with a 6-inch penis and weight 166 lbs with an IQ 122 6'0" with a 6-inch penis and weight 171 lbs with an IQ 99 5'8" with a 6-inch penis and weigh 162 lbs and an IQ 107 Same as second option Just an average dude Time's up